Random Thoughts for July 29th.

Yesterday evening I was walking down a hall at the beautiful Community Center of Hampton when something caught my attention. There was an orange cone in the doorway to the men's room that stated "Caution Wet Floor." At first it didn't occure to me to think twice since I wasn't going into the men's room, but on second thought...I thought. My thought was, "Is this cone here because the bathroom floor was just cleaned or is it here because it had recently been used by men with bad aim?"

The world may never know.

-T

Happy Birthday Sally Struthers

Well it's that time of year again, time to wish a big happy birthday to the even bigger sally struthers.

We all remember ms. struthers captivating performance as gloria in all in the family (meat heads wife) and her steller charitable contributions to the save the children foundation. but i think today it's time to take a look at some of sally struthers lesser and more interesting accomplishments.

We all remember tim conway, from his recent show, and from carol burrnets less recent show but even less recent then that there was the tim conway comedy hour a la 1970 where sally struthers had a light role as a chorus girl, the only chorus girl.

speaking of the 70's every one remembers the big loudmouth cartoon character fred flintstone and his daughter pebbles, voiced by none other then sally struthers.

And let's not forget the 1975 classic film Hey, I'm alive, whose tittle pretty much sums up sally struthers career over the past 2 decades. but i digress,

sally struthers will always be alive in our hearts and in our memories of bad made for tv movies and awkward broadway play adaptations such as the female version of neil simons the odd couple which ran for almost as long as cats should have, 8 months.

so sally struthers to you on this special day, happy birthday and keep making us laugh ....at you.


and let's not forget tommorow is bunito mussilini's birthday , I hear theres gonna be a party in the town square, pinata and all!!!


joe eoj

tales of stupidity

hi, joe here,

with a little story the must be shared, well i guess it doesnt must be shared , but i'm sharing it anyways, and just like ripley's beleive it or not, you decide whether to..well...believe it or not, wait sorry that phrase is trademarked, you decide whether to believe it or ....call it a grossly overexagerated lie. there we go , that has a good ring to it.

so here we go. (the names have been changed to protect the stupid)

a few years ago i had a resturante in the waynesburg pa. which i affectionately reffer to as the ass crack of pennsylvania. any ways, one of my employees we'll call her amy, was soooo stupid, (how stupid was she) she was soooo stupid that i had to lable every thing in the store to assist her in recognizing what was what, i labled the chicken i labled the beef i labled the milk i even labled the lable maker. now i know what your thinking you labled the milk, she couldnt have been that stupid , you probably just labled the milk because your a smart ass and like to passive aggressivley make people feel bad about themselves. as true as that is, i labled the milk becuase when amy was told to check how much milk we have left so i know whether or not to order it or not....or not. she went to the kitchen and yelled i dont see any milk.

so i orderd some milk only to later discover that there was 4 gallons of the stuff sitting at eye level in the cooler. amy , i said, i thought you said there was no milk , there isnt, she replied and with that i led her to the cooler and said then whats all this stuff here on the shelf , and her reply, I dont know what that is. and i yelled , It's milk !!! it's four freaking gallons of milk , it's at eye levle , you had to have seen it , and to this amy rotorted i saw it i just didnt know it was milk ( now amy was and still is an only child who lived with just one of her parents so this almost makes a small amount of sense to me, but not really) amy went on to tell me that she didnt know milk came like that , I said, what didnt come cold and white, amy replied , no i never saw milk in a container like that i thought it came in cardboard with missing kids on the back.

In all her 17 years of living she said that she never saw a gallon of milk all in one container. and heres one of my favorite parts of the story i had 3 other employees that were worse then amy.

well just thought i'd share

joe eoj

Travel down the road, and back again

Dear Betty White,

You probably think this is pretty strange that I am writing to you. But maybe not. You probably get mail all the time. I get mail too. If I got mail from me I would think it was strange too. If I got mail from you I would think it was shocking, but I would be very excited to read it. Pending the contents, either way I would be very satisfied that you knew who I was, let alone my mailing address.

I hope you are happy to receive mail from me. Since we are on the topic of mail, the other day I came home to find a small package on my doorstep, from Amazon.com. I didn’t order anything from Amazon.com. In fact, I don’t spend any money on anything that isn’t rent, car insurance, student loans, gas, slurpees, or credit card payments. This is because of my current financial situation, which is, in other words, a timely money circumstance.

People look out for me, though. I have a great family; don’t ever let anybody tell you that I don’t have a great family, Betty White. In particular my oldest sister, who knows how to take care of me in ways I don’t realize I need taken care of.

She had sent me the package. The Golden Girls, Season Two.

Elation! Fresh on the heels of my receipt of Season One.

When the show actually ran, in the eighties, my mom forbade us to watch it. Perhaps it was the sexual innuendo that was too racy, or the suggestion of elderly intercourse was too frightening. But once I went to college and had cable and the Lifetime Network, I watched the show all the time. Constantly. (My apologies to my oft-forgot french class).

The Golden Girls was perfectly written, perfectly acted, and very much appreciated by me, for one. I am trying to make sure other appreciate it too. Don’t worry.

Hey, you know when you laugh and laugh at something until your stomach hurts (like pretend you saw somebody fall out of a chair but not get hurt), and you laugh and laugh and laugh, and then everybody is stopping laughing and makes a sound to let out their last laughing sound, like yeeeehhhh. They tilt their head and grin when they say it, usually it’s one of the only times a ridiculous grin is acceptable. At least that’s how I do it. I cant presume to know how you do things, Betty White.

Anyway, watching the Golden Girls has a calming effect on me that I cannot explain. From the instant the airplane flies in front of the sunset and the cheerful singer thanks me for being a friend, until the last joke that freeze frames the cast (sometimes), I have that yeeehhhh feeling. It is a good feeling. I am getting premature laugh lines, and although i claimed that the anti-aging cosmetic industry would never make a dollar off of me, I am having second thoughts.

I am writing to you Betty White for two reasons. One, I would like to say that in Season Two, the episode “Forgive me, Father,” your delivery of the line “He’s a priest, isn’t he?” is comic perfection. I show that part of the episode to friends. Genius.

Secondly, do you think a hug would be out of order?

Well, I would never be able to forgive myself if I took up more of your time. Thank you for everything. Enclosed is a coupon for one free hug, redeemable anytime.

Sincerely,

Christine

C.C. B. Arthur, R. McClanahan, E. Getty

Halfy Birthday to me

I turned 40.5 last Thursday. Halfy Birthday to me!
(For years I thought my half birthday was on flag day, but my brother so kindly pointed out on flag day that it’s not. All those celebrations and postman holidays over the years were not for me.)
My half- day came and went fairly uneventfully. I had lunch with a friend – but I didn’t get a card, a cake or a present. I did have an unrelated piece of Blackberry pie. I’ll take what I can get.
I’m okay with the low key semi-anniversary.
I never understood why people congratulated me for being born. If you really wanted to celebrate that, send my parents a card. I didn’t have much to do with it. I’m not sure I even liked it. I know I cried. And then I ate. And slept. And I kept that same crying, eating and sleeping routine up for months. Add alcohol and it’s like I just got dumped by my fiancé. And I don’t celebrate that every year.
Maybe I should. I actually had some say in getting dumped. (and what I said was, “Oh, God, don’t do this to me, I’ll change, I swear!” And then I swore … a lot.)
This year, I should start a new holiday ... dump day. I should send my ex a card and an appropriate gift, like a broken necklace or a used box of Kleenex.
In fact, this year I should celebrate the anniversaries of other events that I have nothing to do with – besides Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Columbus Day, Martin Luther King’s Birthday, Presidents Day ...I mean days more like, ‘I got my car stolen day.’
We could have more arbitrary days like, ‘brown hair day.’ “Hey Congratulations on your brown hair. Way to go!” It’s as silly as “Hey, way to get birthed!”
I’m sure Hallmark is designing cards as I type. They have spies everywhere.
As for me, this year, I plan on celebrating Arbitrary Day. It’ll be, I don’t know, September 23 this year. And this year’s theme: the semicolon. A misunderstood punctuation mark.
40.5 and the ideas keep flowing. It’s true, with age, does come wisdom.
Piece (of half birthday cake)
Larry

When did Media Converge mean Coverage OF the Media?

I hate to get a wee bit serious on here, in fact I wasn’t even going to rant about this…until this morning.

Like a lot of folks, I spent this last Saturday watching LIVE 8 on VH1/MTV. I started watching it on my computer, then decided it would be better to see the concert on my big TV instead of my little monitor. Unfortunately MTV and VH1 were more concerned with what the VJ’s thought that they neglected to show most of the concerts. I dare you to find even a mention of the Cure’s performance in Paris! I hate to say this, but AOL had wonderful coverage of the event; cameras in each city that never shut off and no annoying VJ’s to spoil the event. I would have to MTV/VH1 did a good job of covering their VJ’s, but not covering the event. The VJ’s interrupted even PINK FLOYD. Few to no songs were played in their entirety etc. I could complain for hours.

This I was going to let slide, due to the fact that everyone knows how poor the coverage was. But this morning as I turned on my tv for my usual morning rituals I learn of the horrific terror attack in London. Based on the news coverage this morning the only fact I know was that is was in London. I spent the morning watching American reporters interview English reporters. The English reporters seem to know little to nothing about the situation except that the streets were silent. When did reporting on a reporter become news worthy? Why did I spend an hour (and lord knows how long this actually went on) watching American reporters ask English reports questions? Are the English reports the story? I don’t think so! I have no idea why the English reports couldn’t go out and do research for the story and then file a report. Yes I said RESEARCH. But they were too busy answering American Reporters questions.

I long for the days when music was played on Music Television and the News actually covered news events and not themselves. **sigh**