Smart Ass
Hey all, joe here.
Those of you who know me are well aware of the fact that i dont know when to shut up or quit.
Those of you who dont know me will soon be aware of that problem. The following dialouges are actuall exchanges that have occurred in my life. Most have taken place in bars , which is where i usually take place. Enjoy my stupidity.
After a pool game with a big frat guy with alot of big frat guy friends
B.F.G: F**k ( Hits Pool table with cue stick and breaks it)
Joe: Wow, you really taught that pool stick a lesson.
After another pool game,with an old man, for a beer
O.M.: ahh, (incoherent cursing) (harpoons pool table with stick)
Joe: uh, ya, I'm drinking Yuengling Ahab.
A drunk hillbilly After a drunk lady complimented and touched my hair
D.H.B. You know that was my old lady you was talking up
Joe: OH. man i'm sorry, dude , dont worry you have no competition from me for your wife, in fact i'll bet you have no competition from anyone here for your wife
While training a 16 year old girl at my ice cream place how to make a soft serve ice cream cone
16Y.O. : I'm sorry I suck at this
Joe: No, no, you dont suck, your cones are great.
To a Waitress that thought i didnt like her.
Wait: You dont like me at all do you.
Joe: Come on , hey, out of all the waitresses here, your one of them.
To a douche bag that comes into the place i work
D.B.: what are you some kind a queer
Joe: hey we could talk about whether or not i'm a queer all day long or i could prove it to you.
A biker at a bar after a pool game played for a beer
Bike: I havent had to buy a guy a beer in years
Joe: Well hey, sometimes the ladies just aren't biting
A Scary drunk guy during a pool game after coming out of the bathroom
S.D.G: You didnt cheat while i was pissing did you
Joe: Baby i'd never do that to you.
A drunken Idiot at a country bar
D.I.: You wearing a sport coat?, What are you some type of college fag.
Joe: (with a lisp) I have been out of college for 2 years.
Drunk kid after i challenged him at pool
D.K: No one's beat me yet tonight
Joe: what, your dad away on bussiness
Dude after losing a pretty large amount of money to me at pool (again)
Dude: (angry) so you hussle
Joe: Hussle, dude i cant even do the hokey pokey
to some ass hole after he yelled at his girlfriend
A.H.: No i'm not going home, i'm finishing my beer bitch, haha haha, (to me) damn sluts
Joe: tell me about it, you got balls standing up to your chick like that
A.H.: Whats she gonna do about it, i dont take that shit, would you.
Joe: probably she's got me by like a hundred pounds.
welcome to the world of i'll keep my mouth shut when it's wired there.
joe eoj
Those of you who know me are well aware of the fact that i dont know when to shut up or quit.
Those of you who dont know me will soon be aware of that problem. The following dialouges are actuall exchanges that have occurred in my life. Most have taken place in bars , which is where i usually take place. Enjoy my stupidity.
After a pool game with a big frat guy with alot of big frat guy friends
B.F.G: F**k ( Hits Pool table with cue stick and breaks it)
Joe: Wow, you really taught that pool stick a lesson.
After another pool game,with an old man, for a beer
O.M.: ahh, (incoherent cursing) (harpoons pool table with stick)
Joe: uh, ya, I'm drinking Yuengling Ahab.
A drunk hillbilly After a drunk lady complimented and touched my hair
D.H.B. You know that was my old lady you was talking up
Joe: OH. man i'm sorry, dude , dont worry you have no competition from me for your wife, in fact i'll bet you have no competition from anyone here for your wife
While training a 16 year old girl at my ice cream place how to make a soft serve ice cream cone
16Y.O. : I'm sorry I suck at this
Joe: No, no, you dont suck, your cones are great.
To a Waitress that thought i didnt like her.
Wait: You dont like me at all do you.
Joe: Come on , hey, out of all the waitresses here, your one of them.
To a douche bag that comes into the place i work
D.B.: what are you some kind a queer
Joe: hey we could talk about whether or not i'm a queer all day long or i could prove it to you.
A biker at a bar after a pool game played for a beer
Bike: I havent had to buy a guy a beer in years
Joe: Well hey, sometimes the ladies just aren't biting
A Scary drunk guy during a pool game after coming out of the bathroom
S.D.G: You didnt cheat while i was pissing did you
Joe: Baby i'd never do that to you.
A drunken Idiot at a country bar
D.I.: You wearing a sport coat?, What are you some type of college fag.
Joe: (with a lisp) I have been out of college for 2 years.
Drunk kid after i challenged him at pool
D.K: No one's beat me yet tonight
Joe: what, your dad away on bussiness
Dude after losing a pretty large amount of money to me at pool (again)
Dude: (angry) so you hussle
Joe: Hussle, dude i cant even do the hokey pokey
to some ass hole after he yelled at his girlfriend
A.H.: No i'm not going home, i'm finishing my beer bitch, haha haha, (to me) damn sluts
Joe: tell me about it, you got balls standing up to your chick like that
A.H.: Whats she gonna do about it, i dont take that shit, would you.
Joe: probably she's got me by like a hundred pounds.
welcome to the world of i'll keep my mouth shut when it's wired there.
joe eoj
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