I'm a Pittsburgher

That is right. I took a test on line to tell me If I'm a true Pittsburgher. I kinda figured I was since I've been here all of my life. So why don't you take it too. Even if you aren't from the Burgh it's a fun little trip into the minds of us insane Burghers n'at.

The Yinzer You are 100% fluent in Pittsburghese!

You've lived here for most of your life, or you've spent a lot of time absorbing local culture. Either way, you're capable of thoroughly confusing tourists and Pitt freshman alike.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 58% on yinzerness

Link: The Pittsburghese Test written by jlouise on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

What the world needs now….

Today as I was walking in the blistering sun down lovely Carson Street in the City’s glorious South Side section I couldn’t help thinking, man why am I so hot? The problem didn’t lie within my t-shirt, which provided great breezy comfort as I strolled. It was the fact that after a mere 6 blocks my jeans felt like my skin and I had to look down every so often to make sure 1) I still had pants on and 2) I didn’t pee my pants. This is about when I decided what we all need is air-conditioned pants. I’m not talking about Polish air conditioning. Any moron can cut holes in their pants. I mean honest to Heavens air conditioning. As I continued to walk I also thought my life should be a movie. I strut down the street like Travolta in Fever, why not have my life be a movie? I’ll tell you how I know my life is not a movie… I don’t have cool pants. If my life were a movie my pants would be air-conditioned, I’m talking cold air shooting in and out of my ass at all times. Would I ever sweat? Hell no! I have air-conditioned pants. But alas, life doesn’t work that way.
So my plea to all of you smart types….invent me so air conditioned pants!
-Teresa

A couple more taglines to consider

BM's 16 tagline ideas

I-Factor: Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Fred.

I-Factor: Topping the heap since the dawn of the Peep.

I-Factor: Letting the cat out of the bag before curiosity kills it

I-Factor: My ID? It's right here hangin' buddy.

I-Factor: Tossing the kids in the backseat and trying to outrun it since 1987.

I-Factor: Throwing the lamb out the window.

I-Factor: Sheer bumblestix.

I-Factor: More-than-likely arriving under false pretenses.

I-Factor: We'll be seein' ya' when the satute of limitations runs out.

I-Factor: Slaying you with our humor than dragging your mangled carcuss down Main St.

I-Factor: Criminy Harold, what did I tell you about sneaking a perch into the collection plate?

I-Factor: Like Superman's famous Time cover- Is Zod Dead?

I-Factor: Hey, you'll need a search warrent for that Buster.

I-Factor: You'll like our show so much, you'll be cooking us breakfast. (Seriously, you'll want to do us.)

I-Factor: "Mister Wizard is Don Herbert"

I-Factor: There's no I in I-Factor.

Help us find a tagline

I-Factor is looking for a new tagline, and I thought I’d enlist the help of you, the increasingly sexy blog readers (at least Joe assures me you’re increasingly sexy.) So I have a few taglines for you to read and comment on.
Let me know which one you’d like best.

I-Factor: We don’t eat worms, like Fear Factor
I-Factor: Love us, love us not, love us, love us not, love us…
I-Factor: taking the fun out of funny, and putting it back when you least expect it
I-Factor: that’s not a gun!
I-Factor: Smelling is believing
I-Factor: One of America’s finest newspaper’s readers
I-Factor: I fact or fiction … you decide
I-Factor: We’ve seen a lot of movies
I-Factor: Feel the fever of improv
And finally
I-Factor: Improv-isensation!

Thanks for reading
Larry

Smart Ass

Hey all, joe here.

Those of you who know me are well aware of the fact that i dont know when to shut up or quit.
Those of you who dont know me will soon be aware of that problem. The following dialouges are actuall exchanges that have occurred in my life. Most have taken place in bars , which is where i usually take place. Enjoy my stupidity.


After a pool game with a big frat guy with alot of big frat guy friends

B.F.G: F**k ( Hits Pool table with cue stick and breaks it)

Joe: Wow, you really taught that pool stick a lesson.



After another pool game,with an old man, for a beer

O.M.: ahh, (incoherent cursing) (harpoons pool table with stick)

Joe: uh, ya, I'm drinking Yuengling Ahab.



A drunk hillbilly After a drunk lady complimented and touched my hair

D.H.B. You know that was my old lady you was talking up

Joe: OH. man i'm sorry, dude , dont worry you have no competition from me for your wife, in fact i'll bet you have no competition from anyone here for your wife



While training a 16 year old girl at my ice cream place how to make a soft serve ice cream cone

16Y.O. : I'm sorry I suck at this

Joe: No, no, you dont suck, your cones are great.



To a Waitress that thought i didnt like her.

Wait: You dont like me at all do you.

Joe: Come on , hey, out of all the waitresses here, your one of them.


To a douche bag that comes into the place i work

D.B.: what are you some kind a queer

Joe: hey we could talk about whether or not i'm a queer all day long or i could prove it to you.



A biker at a bar after a pool game played for a beer

Bike: I havent had to buy a guy a beer in years

Joe: Well hey, sometimes the ladies just aren't biting




A Scary drunk guy during a pool game after coming out of the bathroom

S.D.G: You didnt cheat while i was pissing did you

Joe: Baby i'd never do that to you.



A drunken Idiot at a country bar

D.I.: You wearing a sport coat?, What are you some type of college fag.

Joe: (with a lisp) I have been out of college for 2 years.




Drunk kid after i challenged him at pool

D.K: No one's beat me yet tonight

Joe: what, your dad away on bussiness



Dude after losing a pretty large amount of money to me at pool (again)

Dude: (angry) so you hussle

Joe: Hussle, dude i cant even do the hokey pokey



to some ass hole after he yelled at his girlfriend

A.H.: No i'm not going home, i'm finishing my beer bitch, haha haha, (to me) damn sluts

Joe: tell me about it, you got balls standing up to your chick like that

A.H.: Whats she gonna do about it, i dont take that shit, would you.

Joe: probably she's got me by like a hundred pounds.


welcome to the world of i'll keep my mouth shut when it's wired there.


joe eoj