"Mom, there's a pterodactyl in the cupboard."

Hey kids! Big Matt here with a blog. That's riiiiiight, a blog.
A few things to get off my mind. First of all, where are all the mimes anymore? I've heard stories about them and have seen them in black and white photos, but I've never seen a real, live mime. Can you still book them for parties?
Same goes for albinos. Can any of you actually produce an albino for me? I think they were both invented by the government as a scare tactic to keep people in line. One day they are going to tell us that albino mimes are attacking major US cities and we should all go out and buy lots of duct tape and batteries. Don't bite people.
Brings me to my beef. I walked through Oakland today and this jogger slowly bares down on me, closer...closer...closer until he meets me at an intersection. Than he's right beside me but he has to "keep up the pace" and jog in place until he can prance off. That bugged me all day. Why couldn't he just stop and wait like a normal person...why?
Ok, that's it, bye.

Letting the cat out of the bag before curiousity kills it,
Big Matt

ps- Happy Birthday Nang.